You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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