It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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