my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize