so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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