so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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