You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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