maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
