i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
you never un-have a 4some
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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