I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
