Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize