Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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