He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
