woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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