I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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