you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
