I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
