Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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