After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
