I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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