I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
