i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My pussy is not your playground.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
