i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
