what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
