He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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