i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
