True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
