So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
