I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
