What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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