I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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