We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
