i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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