He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
