Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
