There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
