I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize