Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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