He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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