So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I have fence marks all over my body
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
