what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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