if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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