I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dicks are not precious.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
