i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
