she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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