ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
