So drunk its hurt
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you would pick up someone in the library
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
