so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize