If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
