I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
