it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
