Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
