Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Randomize
