we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
