I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Houston, we have a blender
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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