Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
