you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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