Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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