Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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