You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
