i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
