how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
