is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
